An attractive young woman who works in my office building danced into my office the other day and announced to us that her divorce was on the verge of being finalized, and she was going out drinking to celebrate.
I was speechless. My co-worker, whose own marriage has survived the threat of divorce by persistent prayer and the grace of God, looked her in the eye and said that he would never congratulate anyone on a divorce. All I could do was shake my head in disbelief at her obvious expectation that we would rejoice with her. She finally left, her mood only marginally deflated. Upon reflection, I wished that I had been able to compose myself enough to tell her a few things myself.
For the rest of her life, she will share part of herself with a strange family. She has sliced in half the amount of time she will be able to spend with her children, and with her grandchildren. She will be forced, by the decree of the divorce court, to send her little girls into a strange home, over which she has no control, into situations she can neither foresee nor protect against. While they are young, she will always fear for their safety. When they are grown, she will always wonder whether or not she will see them on any given holiday.
"For I hate divorce," says the Lord, the God of Israel (Malachi 2:16). God hates divorce because it damages people, twisting the divine bond of marriage into a sick treachery. Even if the divorce is justifiable (i.e. due to adultery), yet it is no cause for a party. Marriage is serious business.
What causes all heaven to weep, causes this young woman to want to propose a toast. In this, she is testifying to her girls that the end of a marriage is a joyous occasion, instead of teaching them the truth: That the marriage covenant has a deep and serious magic to it, touched by the very heart of God. That marriage is an earthly representation of the love Christ has for His church, and is sacred above all other human institutions. That divorce is a terrible rending of hearts and lives, to be avoided at all costs.
She says she's going out drinking to celebrate, but I know better. Proverbs 31:6-7 says, "Give strong drink to him who is perishing, and wine to him whose life is bitter. Let him drink and forget his poverty and remember his trouble no more." There are few things in this world more bitter than the death of a marriage. Even the death of a bad marriage merits mourning, not celebration.
And I should know.
Posted by jon at June 15, 2003 11:36 PM