Jon's Blog

Do we really want this help?

The national "no-call" list made the news the other day. Everyone seems so relieved that the federal government has finally stepped in and fixed the problem for us...but do we really want this sort of help?

The "problem," of course, is that private organizations utilize the telephone system to solicit business or financial support. Since most people have taken no steps whatsoever to protect their personal information, pretty much anybody can find out all sorts of things about them--their phone number, address, age, Social Security Number, gender, skin color, driver's license number, favorite foods, etc.--with a few clicks of a mouse, and perhaps a few bucks shelled out to one or more of the organizations with which their "lead" does business, in order to have access to their customer information database. (You thought that stuff was private? Better read the fine print on all those "privacy policies" one more time.) Once they have all that information, they sift through the databases to find likely customers, wait until suppertime, and then they start calling. All those potential customers, just sitting down to a meal with their family...they'll all get up to answer the phone, won't they?

This is the situation in which most Americans find themselves, but are they irritated with themselves for it? Heavens no; after all, how could it be my fault that my personal information has been broadcast all over creation? How's that, you say? It's on my checks, my driver's license, my email signature, etc. ad infinitum? Yeah, but that's private information, right? Just because I freely give it out to anyone who asks for it doesn't mean it's not private, does it? (If that's you talking, then you are as ignorant as I was only a short while ago. I highly recommend that you acquire and read J. J. Luna's How To Be Invisible as soon as possible.)

So, we've put ourselves into this situation, and now we want out. Do we figure out a way to do it using our own God-given talents and abilities? Or do we ask our federal government, which treats the Constitution as if it were a senile great-aunt, to take on yet another unconstitutional role? How long will it be until some preacher calls someone who recently visited his church to invite them to Wednesday night supper and Bible study, and gets fined $11,000 by the government for violating the "no-call" list? Supposedly, non-profits are exempt, but how much faith do you have that the federal government will never make a mistake? When will we see the formation of a national "no-knock" database that will slap a fine on door-to-door solicitors every time they pound on a listed door? How about a "no-beg" database that will nail that homeless guy who's always begging food downtown? Where does it end?

Once the federal government gets its regulatory foot in the door, you might as well invite it in for supper, because it's coming in anyway. Government is not the answer, folks. Paste that on your bathroom mirror, and repeat it out loud to yourself every morning: GOVERNMENT IS NOT THE ANSWER. Government is a necessary evil. George Washington (remember him?) said, "Government is not reason; it is not eloquence; it is force! Like fire, it is a dangerous servant and a fearful master." Learn to do things for yourself instead of asking the government to do them for you. For example, here are a few free-market tips for handling the telemarketer problem:

• Buy a TeleZapper. (I did, and it works.)
• Screen all of your calls using Caller ID or a good old-fashioned answering machine.
• When you answer a telemarketing call, say, "We now charge a $5 per minute personal solicitation fee. You will need to give me a valid credit card number before you may continue." (If that's too much for you, try simply, "We do not accept solicitations at this number. Thanks for calling, bye!")
• Inform telemarketers that you and your friends have a policy to boycott the products of telemarketers.
• After reading How To Be Invisible, implement at least a few of Mr. Luna's methods.

Notice that none of these tips involve the government at all. Some of them are even fun...sort of like reverse prank calls. They're all relatively simple and painless. If a significant percentage of the millions of people who have been flooding the government's "no-call" signup system had implemented even one of these methods on their own, the telemarketers would probably have changed their ways a long time ago. But we Americans are far too lazy to do it on our own. Let the government handle it; here's my driver's license and SSN...just pass me the remote and another beer. What's that? You're on the "no-pass-a-beer" list? Awww, man....

Posted by jon at June 29, 2003 01:49 AM